


Do You Think Pigeons Have Feelings?

by ArisuAmiChan



Series: That Time... [5]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Based off of a vine, College, Crack, Crack Fic, Drug Use, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Roommates, i miss it, jfc they need to bring it back, vine was the shit man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:54:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24064651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArisuAmiChan/pseuds/ArisuAmiChan
Summary: He really should’ve expected this of Renji when he agreed to bunk with him that semester at school. Fuck his life, seriously. He should’ve just taken Grimmjow up on his offer to room with him. At least there he had to deal with snoring and late night studying, maybe even a little sex at two a.m.This shit on the other hand?Someone was going todiewhen the morning came.(CAN BE READ ALONE! Literally based off the annoying brother/roommate vine b/c I picture this with Ichigo & Renji so well. Takes place in TTYCM universe, implied GrimmIchi, strong urge to murder going about, takes place during Ichigo’s sophomore year and Grimmjow’s junior year. Title is line from the Vine, I’m dying from laughter bye y’all.)
Relationships: Abarai Renji/Kuchiki Rukia, GrimmIchi, Grimmjow Jaegerjaques/Kurosaki Ichigo, RenRuki - Relationship
Series: That Time... [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1631998
Comments: 9
Kudos: 25





	Do You Think Pigeons Have Feelings?

“Hey, Ichigo. Ichigo.”

“What?” He was going to _kill_ this motherfucker, he swore to shit.

“Do you ever get homesick?”

He was silent for several moments and close to falling back asleep when his roommate spoke again. “Do you?”

_“What?”_

“Do you ever get homesick?”

“Please, just let me sleep. It’s ten at night and I have a class at seven, Renji. Just let me sleep a couple hours, please.” Ichigo was close to either begging or punching the other man out cold, he wasn’t sure which yet. Why Renji thought it was a good idea to smoke a joint before bed, he would _never_ know.

“Do you ever really think about... You know... Your parents. And if they’re missing you ‘n stuff?”

Things were quiet for a while until Ichigo jerked awake at the sound of his name. “Hey, Ichigo~?”

“RENJI! SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Renji was dead when the afternoon came. And his fucking weed guy was dead, too. Both were dead and Ichigo didn’t give a shit if he got arrested for it. His hair was already orange, after all so what did it matter if he wore a prison orange jumpsuit?

“ _God_ , mister grouchy pants! Do you think pigeons have feelings?”

Ichigo hissed before speaking. “I’m giving you one more chance to shut the hell up.”

Things were silent _again_ before Ichigo heard the intake of breath. “I mean...”

He crawled out of the bottom bunk with his pillow in hand and began to smack Renji with it. He hid under his comforter and finally, Ichigo returned to bed. Blessed silence, thank you sweet lord...

“WOW, ASSHOLE!” Sonofa...

Two hours passed, Ichigo dozing on and off as Renji continued his Weed Ramblings. “When I say weak ass, you say bitch. Weak ass!”

A beat of silence. “Bitch!”

“Just stop right now, please.” Ichigo groaned, shifting to lay on his side. He let his arm hang over the edge of the bed, too tired to move it within his cocoon of covers.

“You know when you cut grass, it’s screaming right? The smell of fresh cut grass is it screaming to defend itself, Ichigo. It’s trying to save itself from trauma, Ichigo.” Renji sighed above him, settling again and making the bed shake. “All right, okay. I’ll stop. I promise.”

A sniffle. “After that.”

A sound similar to a dying hack. “I’m sorry. I swear to god, last time.”

Silence was ruined after five minutes thanks to the red-head when he hung over the edge of his bunk. “When I say weak ass, you say bitch. Weak ass! Bitch! Weak ass--”

Ichigo didn’t make a sound, just half dove out of bed to attack Renji, who crawled further up to avoid his wrath. When he was sure his friend had settled again, Ichigo returned to bed and sighed.

Then the movement started again. The frame swayed with the constant shifting and rolling Renji was doing, mattress springs squeaking heavily under the idiot’s weight. “I can’t get comfortable! This is _ridiculous_!”

“You’re the worst friend ever.” Ichigo mumbled, unmoving as Renji leaned over to speak again.

“Dude, college is one of those--”

“If you don’t stop talking, I’ll kill you. Literally, I will rip your fucking throat out if you don’t shut the fuck up.” Ten minutes after that and the singing started.

“I believe I can fly.”

“Please stop...” Ichigo groaned, covering his head with the pillow. When Renji was sober, he was dead. Ichigo would burn his entire fucking stash of weed and tell Rukia. He'd actually _pay_ her to kick his ass for him, truth be told.

“I believe I can touch the sky. I dream about it every night and day. I SPREAD MY WINGS AND FLY AWAY!” Ichigo kicked the bottom of the top bunk several times, forcing it up a few inches before it slammed back down on the frame.

“Earthquake struck in Tokyo today! Falsetto!” High pitched singing came from above after the declaration. “I spread my wings and fly away!”

“Renji! Stop!” Yeah, he was going to kill him slowly. Ever so slowly and feed him to any stray dogs in the area. Burn the bones to ash and FINALLY be able to sleep for once.

“Baritone!”

“RENJI!”

“I spread my wings and--

“SHUT UP!”

“Fly away!”

Ichigo didn’t have in him to whimper. “I will kill you. I’m gonna...”

“You’re gonna what? That’s a threat. I have to report it to the authorities.” Ichigo climbed into the top bunk and smacked him, dropping down to return to his bed. Fuck. This. Shit.

An hour later came snapping that jerked him awake. He felt more than saw the arm go back up after, Ichigo lifting his head from his pillow to glare.

Not even twenty minutes later, he was speaking again.

“I’m hungry~! Can we go get breakfast somewhere? Dude! Cause our parents aren’t here, my mom’s not here so I could totally eat ice cream for breakfast! I can’t wait I wanna put hot fudge on mine. Oh god-” Ichigo rose and bodily pulled him out of bed, throwing Renji to the floor.

He made sure to kick the other young man in the ribs for good measure before crawling back into bed. Ichigo wasn't even going to touch the parent thing, either.

“Owww! Hey, Ichigo? Could I have a pillow, it’s uncomfortable on the floor!” Ichigo got up and began to beat him with the pillow again, fed up to the highest degree. Then for good measure, he pulled the mattress off the top bunk and let it fall on his friend.

The last thing he heard was Renji’s cry of pain as the door slammed shut behind him. “OWWW!”

Fuck this shit, he was sleeping with Grimmjow and transferring dorms in the morning. He was _so_ over Renji’s bullshit this month and school had barely even started.

**Author's Note:**

> Just... I was trying to look up the Vine and here we are. So thank you for reading, I'm very honored that you took the time to take a look at this! *bows*
> 
> The grass thing isn't even part of the original Vine to be fair, I just wanted to throw it in for shits and giggles because the state's on quarantine and I smelled fresh cut grass, which I dislike.
> 
> Please enjoy the Vine as well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zk3aVLtbkCQ Earbud/headphone warning: It gets very loud, very quickly.


End file.
